Why I Won't Be Joining Your Women's Group

Over the years I have had several opportunities to join various women's groups and these opportunities have usually been through church. I found myself tensing at the thought of this and actively avoiding those who I knew were looking to invite me.

And it's not because I don't know what I'm missing either. When I was younger, I did in fact join a women's bible study because I thought it was the right thing to do to have fellowship with other women in my church. And although I was already friends with several of the women in the group, I just found the meetings excruiatingly boring.  It just wasn't - and isn't - me.

So why did/do I feel that way?

Well, for one thing, I've never been one to hang out exclusively with other women. Growing up, I had always been a bit of a tom-boy and have always had both male and female friends. As a young adult, I began practicing martial arts - a sport that is still practiced by mostly men. (In fact, I trained for over a year as the only woman in the class and absolutely loved the attention that position gave me!)

Another reason may be that I just don't feel like I have much in common with a lot of other women. I am child-free, reserved in expressing my emotions, athletic and don't like to eat a lot of sweets. And my experience and impression of many women's groups is that they like to talk about their kids, cry and hug each other, sit on their butts and eat brownies - there - I said it.

This isn't to say, that I've never gone "out with the girls". But guys were never deliberately excluded. I remember on many occasions having one or two guys tagging along with a bunch of girls at the mall or to a movie.

When it comes down to it I really think that sex (and age and other simple demographics) are the least important reason to spend time with other people. Take my martial arts club for example - we have both men and women, we range in age from teenagers to seniors, we encompass a wide variety of professions - and we really enjoy each other's company because of a shared interest.

So should we get together? Absolutely! But let's do so for reasons other than simple demographics. And let's leave the "No Boys Allowed" sign off the clubhouse door.